Today, as I spent unstructured time reading the Psalms, God let me catch new glimpses of his goodness, for which I am incredibly grateful.
“It was good for me to be afflicted that I might learn your decrees” -Psalm 119:71
Throughout Psalm 119, the Psalmist wrestles with his affliction, but yet says time and time again that he trusts God’s word. I have wrestled with the Lord for a very long time. I have wrestled with doubt and asked questions that left me feeling deeply shaken, on the edge of despair. But today, as I was reflecting on the process and on the Psalmist’s words, I came to see that when you wrestle with someone, that other person is incredibly near. While I questioned him and wrestled with him, I didn’t realize how real he was to me during it all– how real and how near. I praise the Lord for this process because I have come to know him deeper.Through it all he has taught me things I otherwise would not have listened to. Fakeness has melted away as I have been refined. In my inner turmoil he was faithful to remind me of his mercy. It was good for me to be afflicted that I might know him more.
As I think of the humbling, incredible work he has been doing in my heart, I am grateful to him. Because yet again, he has been good to me.
“Be at rest once again, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.” -Psalm 116:7